List of Funny Sayings for Signs & Plaques

[lynnfrwd]

You forgot the other half of that Lynn: "If Daddy ain't happy, who cares?!"

My husband has never said that part of the saying.....hmmmmm...wonder why!?

[dcalvin4]

This is little bit dif version of the last saying from cnsranch,,,, Never pick a fight with an ole man,,,your gonna fell real bad tellen your wife ''Some ole man beat me up''
denny

[DocWheeler]

Maybe someone could carve this one.

[SharonB]

Now that's one I can relate to. I know of several people that's going to receive that one for Christmas.

[DocWheeler]

Here is another funny quote.
I did not have a headstone pattern to put it on, so I'll just include the whole email.

COWBOY TOMBSTONE
Headstone of Russell J. Larsen in the Logan City Cemetery, Logan, Utah!
I wonder if he died knowing he won the 'Coolest Headstone' contest?
On his tombstone are his five rules for a happy life.

FIVE RULES FOR MEN TO FOLLOW FOR A HAPPY LIFE:

1. It's important to have a woman who helps at home,
cooks from time to time, cleans up, and has a job.

2. It's important to have a woman who can make you
laugh.

3. It's important to have a woman who you can trust,
and doesn't lie to you.

4. It's important to have a woman who is good in bed,
and likes to be with you.

5. It's very, very important that these four women
do not know each other or you could end up dead like me.

[ladjr]

Those are words to live by

[fwharris]

Here is another funny quote.
I did not have a headstone pattern to put it on, so I'll just include the whole email.

COWBOY TOMBSTONE
Headstone of Russell J. Larsen in the Logan City Cemetery, Logan, Utah!
I wonder if he died knowing he won the 'Coolest Headstone' contest?
On his tombstone are his five rules for a happy life.

FIVE RULES FOR MEN TO FOLLOW FOR A HAPPY LIFE:

1. It's important to have a woman who helps at home,
cooks from time to time, cleans up, and has a job.

2. It's important to have a woman who can make you
laugh.

3. It's important to have a woman who you can trust,
and doesn't lie to you.

4. It's important to have a woman who is good in bed,
and likes to be with you.

5. It's very, very important that these four women
do not know each other or you could end up dead like me.

Good one Ken, words to live by for sure!

[badbert]

I bet there were four contributors to that headstone fund!

[lynnfrwd]

Bringing this old thread back to life.

[Deolman]

One of my favorites and good words to live by:

Never pass up a good opportunity to keep your mouth shut.