List of Funny Sayings for Signs & Plaques

[SouthernSigns]

Something we use to have hanging in our old sign shop:

"If you want it fast and good, it wont be cheap...
If you want it cheap and fast, it wont be good...
If you want it cheap and good, it wont be fast!!"

[CNC Carver]

Nice one. That is something for people to keep in mind.

[Underdog]

Might as well add these to this list.

If at first you don't succeed, give up.

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

If at first you don't succeed, try doing it the way your wife told you.

If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.

If at first you don't succeed, call in an airstrike.

If at first you don't succeed, order pizza.

If at first you don't succeed call it version 1.0.

If at first you don't succeed, try management.

If plan "A "didn't work, don't worry, there are 25 more letters in the alphabet.

[atldal]

Saw this one on the internet the other day and thought it was funny....never argue with stupid people. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

[want2b]

Didn't find this one in a search, hope not a repeat. Got this on on a card for fathers day.

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. Benjamin Franklin

Was written on glass/mug shape.

Happy Fathers Day!!!!!

Rick H.

[SteveNelson46]

Johns-Hopkins Medical College recently completed a study on fat women and the direct correlation of life expectancy of their husbands who discuss this problem with them.

[SharonB]

Woodaholic n: One who can't control the urge to buy wood they don't have a project for.

[FWMiller]

Something we use to have hanging in our old sign shop:

"If you want it fast and good, it wont be cheap...
If you want it cheap and fast, it wont be good...
If you want it cheap and good, it wont be fast!!"

Another version of this one I have seen is " You can have it fast, cheap or good, pick any two."

[aokweld101]

Another saying for sign ;....... I'm not bossy.... I just know what you need to be Doing!