Here's a Few For Us Signmakers

[cnsranch]

Since we're hot into the political season.....

* The problem with political jokes is they get elected. ~Henry Cate, VII

* We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office. ~Aesop

* If we got one-tenth of what was promised to us in these acceptance speeches
there wouldn't be any inducement to go to heaven. ~Will Rogers

* Those who are too smart to engage in politics are punished by being governed by those who are dumber. ~Plato

* Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge even where there is no river. ~Nikita Khrushchev

* When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President; I'm beginning to believe it. ~Clarence Darrow
* Why pay money to have your family tree traced; go into politics and your opponents will do it for you. ~Author Unknown

* If God wanted us to vote, he would have given us candidates. ~Jay Leno

* Politicians are people who, when they see light at the end of the tunnel, go out and buy some more tunnel. ~John Quinton

* Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich,
by promising to protect each from the other. ~Oscar Ameringer

* I offer my opponents a bargain: if they will stop telling lies about us, I will stop telling the truth about them.
~Adlai Stevenson, campaign speech, 1952

* A politician is a fellow who will lay down your life for his country. ~Texas Guinan

* Any American who is prepared to run for president should automatically,
by definition, be disqualified from ever doing so. ~Gore Vidal

* I have come to the conclusion that politics is too serious a matter to be left to the politicians. ~Charles de Gaulle

* Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks. ~Doug Larson

[jaroot]

There are three kinds of people in the world; those that are good at math and those that aren't.

[dltccf]

There are three kinds of people in the world; those that are good at math and those that aren't.

I have a friend who has a sign that says: There are 10 kinds of people in the world; those that understand binary and those who don't. (yes, we are computer geeks)

[jaroot]

Yeah and, "There's no place like 127.0.0.1"

[cnsranch]

My apologies if this is too risque - delete if so.....

“I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful things that money can buy.”

• Tom Clancy

“You know “that look” women get when they want sex? Me neither.”

• Steve Martin

“Having sex is like playing Bridge. If you don’t have a good partner, you’d better have a good hand.”

• Woody Allen

“Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.”

• Rodney Dangerfield

“My girlfriend always laughs during sex – no matter what she’s reading.”

• Steve Jobs

“My mother never saw the irony in calling me an SOB.”

• Jack Nicholson

“Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is.”

• Barbara Bush

“Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.”

• Billy Crystal

“According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful.”

• Robert DeNiro

“Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and just give her a house.”

• Rod Stewart

“See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a p****, and only enough blood to run one at a time.”

• Robin Williams

“Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.”

• George Burns

[mathman]

Yeah and, "There's no place like 127.0.0.1"

Hadn't seen that one before - it's great!

[cnsranch]

"One of the most beautiful things in the world is to see a person smiling.
Even more beautiful, is knowing that you are the reason"

''Life's tough, pilgrim, and it's even tougher if you're stupid.'' John Wayne

Remember: “A government big enough to give you everything you want, is big enough to take away everything you have.” Thomas Jefferson

"Your imagination is your preview of life's coming attractions."- Albert Einstein

Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, 'What the heck happened?'

We'll be friends until we are old and senile. Then we'll be new friends.

Smile, it gives your face something to do!

'Great spirits have always encountered opposition from mediocre minds. The mediocre mind is incapable of understanding the man who refuses to bow blindly to conventional prejudices and chooses instead to express his opinions courageously and honestly.' - Albert Einstein

[Vanneta]

I'm a big fan of great quotes and I love these.

Vanneta

[Digitalwoodshop]

Yeah and, "There's no place like 127.0.0.1"

That one went over my head? Bible? or URL?

[brdad]

127.0.0.1 is typically the IP address set for your computer i.e local host i.e. home. So, it's a geeky way of saying "there's no place like home".